Les Trois Couillons

"Les trois couillons" (The Three Fools), #52 Swapping Stories
Enola Matthews, Jennings, Jefferson Davis Parish, Louisiana

Collected by Annette Huval on April 2, 1993. An English translation of this story follows.

Les trois couillons

La fille s'est mariée. Le dimanche, ils ont été faire le dîner. Et la vieille a dit, "Je vas aller chercher du sirop dans le baril." Ça fait, elle a été cherché du sirop mais elle est plus revenue. Elle braillait.

Ça fait, vieux homme dit, "Laisse moi aller voir qui la vieille est après faire. Elle revient plus."

Vieux homme va. Il la trouve après brailler. Et il dit, "Quoi faire tu brailles?"

"Mais," elle dit, "J'étais après jongler à ma chère petite fille quand j'étais venu ici chercher du sirop pour elle manger."

Vieux homme se met à brailler.

Ça fait, elle et son mari étaient assis. "Well," elle dit à son mari, "Ça revient plus. Laisse-moi aller voir qui Pop et Mom après faire."

Ça fait, elle va là-bas, les trouve après brailler. Elle dit, "Quoi faire vous autres brailles? Qui il y a?"

"Mais chère, on était après jongler quand on venait ici chercher du sirop pour toi manger quand t'étais petite."

Elle elle se met à brailler avec eux autres. Ça fait, les trois braillaient.

Là, le garçon était assis à la table là-bas. "Well," il dit, "Laisse-moi aller voir qui ça fait."

Lui il arrive là-bas. Il les trouve après brailler pour leur chère petite fille qui a autant été chercher du sirop. Et elle était mariée et elle était plus avec eux autres.

"Well," il dit, "Je vas m'en aller." Et il dit, "Garde ta petite fille et," il dit, "si je trouve trois couillons comme vous autres là, je vas revenir et remarier ta fille."

Ça fait, là il a parti et il rejoint celui-là qu'avait une paire de culottes.

Ça fait, il dit, "Qui t'es après faire?"

"Je suis après essayer de mettre mes pantalons. Après essayer de mettre mes pantalons."

Et chaque fois il la mettait, il mettait les deux jambes dans la même canon. Ça fait, il essayait. Il a planté deux piquets puis il a monté sur la maison et il se tirait dedans et il mettait ses deux pieds toujours dans le même canon. Ça se fait sa femme a été pour l'aider. Ça pouvait pas.

Ça fait, l'autre qui cherchait pour les couillons, il a été, il dit, "Laisse-moi mettre tes pantalons." Il a mis ses pantalons. Okay ça c'est bon. Ça il dit, "Ça c'est une."

Fait, il a gone et rejoint la femme qui courrait dans la savane avec une baille. Il dit, "Qui elle est après faire?"

Quand elle allait dans sa maison puis elle sortait la course encore. Il dit, "Qui il y a? Qui t'es après faire?"

Elle dit, "J'ai froubi ma cuisine et puis je suis après essayer m'attraper du soleil pour aller lâcher dans ma maison pour la sécher." Et elle dit, "Quand j'arrive ma baille est vide." (Elle était après essayer d'attraper du soleil.)

Ça fait, il a dit, "Ça, c'est deux."

Il a gone. Là il a rejoint Jean Sot. Jean Sot a été et les gypsies lui a donné une aiguille. Ça fait, il a mis l'aiguille dans son wagon avec son bois. Ça fait, il s'a retourné, il déchargait son bois tout doucement.

Ça fait, sa Mémère dit, "Qui il y a Jean Sot?"

Et il dit, "Les gypsies m'a donné une aiguille et puis," il dit, "Je l'ai mis dans le wagon."

"Mais," elle dit, "Cher quand ça te donne quelque comme chose ça, t'attaches ça après toi."

Ça fait, il a retourné. C'est là ils lui ont donné la charrue. Une charrue. Il a essayé, il a essayé de l'attacher, il a essayé de l'attacher. Mais quelque manière il est arrivé, son linge était tout déchiré avec la charrue.

Sa mère dit, "Mais qu'il y a? Qu'il y a?"

"Bien, mais," il dit, "J'ai pas pu attacher ça après moi!"

Elle dit, "Imbécile, quand ça te donne quelque chose comme ça," elle dit, "Tu mets ça dans le wagon."

Ça se fait quand il s'a retourné back, il a passé et les gypsies lui a donné la taure. Ça fait, il a mis la taure dans le wagon et la taure sautait par terre. Il a mis la taure dans le wagon et la taure sautait par terre.

Puis il a été et il a dit a sa maman, il dit, "Ils m'ont donné une taure." Il dit, "Je l'ai mis dans le wagon, elle saute par terre. Et je peux pas la garder."

"Mais," elle dit, "Quand ça te donne quelque chose comme ça," elle dit, "Faut tu la pousses en avant toi avec un petit fouet'" elle dit, "Puis tu l'amènes à la maison."

Ça fait, il a retourné encore. Ils lui ont donné une grande chaudière à laver. Une grande chaudière. Ça fait, il cognait la chaudière. Fouettait la chaudière pour la faire marcher. La chaudière pouvait pas marcher.

Ça se fait, là, il dit à sa Maman, il dit, "Ils m'ont donné une chaudière. Elle veut pas marcher en avant de moi."

"Mais," elle dit, "Quand ça te donne quelque chose comme ça," elle dit, "Faut tu mets ça sur ta tête ou bien le mettre dans le wagon."

Fait, là, il a été, ils lui ont donné le mouton. Ça fait, là, il mettait le mouton sur sa tête. Et le mouton le cognait à coup de pieds et tout ça. Mais il a arrivé à la maison.

Ça fait le bougre était après le guetter. "Well," il dit, "Tout ça-là," il dit, "il a jamais compris qui fallait il fait."

Ça fait, là, il a parti. Ça c'était ses trois couillons. Mais il s'a retourné marié la fille encore.

The Three Fools

The girl got married. On Sunday they went to prepare lunch. And the old woman said, "I'm going to get some cane syrup from the barrel." Then she went to get the syrup but she didn't come back. She was crying.

Then the old man says, "Let me go see what the old woman is doing. She hasn't come back."

The old man goes. He finds her crying. And he says, "Why are you crying?"

"Well," she says, "I was thinking about my dear little girl; I came to get the syrup for her to eat."

The old man starts crying.

Then, the girl and her husband were sitting at the table. "Well," she says to her husband, "They haven't come back. Let me go see what Pop and Mom are doing."

Then she goes over there and finds them crying. She says, "Why are you crying? What's wrong?"

"Well, darling, we were thinking about the times that we came here to get syrup for you to eat when you were little."

And she starts crying with the others. Then all three were crying.

Then, the young man was seated at the table there. "Well," he says, "let me go see what's going on."

He arrives there. He finds them crying for their dear little girl who had so often gone to find syrup. And she was married and she wasn't with them any more.

"Well," he says, "I'm going away." And he says, "Keep your little girl, and," he says, "if I find three fools like you, I'll come back and remarry your daughter."

So he left, and he met a man with a pair of trousers.

Then he says, "What are you doing?"

"I am trying to put on my pants. Trying to put on my pants."

And each time he put them on, he put two legs in the same hole. So he tried. He tried two more times, and then he put down two sticks and he climbed up on the house and he jumped down, but he always put his two feet in the same hole. So his wife went to help him. They couldn't do it.

Then the man who was looking for fools, he said, "Let me put your pants on." He put on his pants. Okay, that was good. Then he says, "There, that's one [fool]."

Then he left and met a woman who was running through the prairie with a broom. He says, "What is she doing?"

Then she went in the house and then she went out and did it again. He says, "What's wrong? What are you doing?"

She says, "I've mopped my kitchen and now I'm trying to catch the sun and get it into my kitchen to dry it out." And she says, "When I come back my broom is empty." (She was trying to catch the sun [with it].)

Then he said, "There, that's the second one."

He left. Then he met Jean Sot. Jean Sot was there, and the gypsies had given him a needle. And he put the needle in his wagon with his wood. Then he went back, gently unloading his wood.

Then his mother says, "What's wrong, Jean Sot?"

And he says, "Then gypsies gave me a needle and," he says, "I put it in my wagon."

"Well," she says, "Dear, when someone gives you something like that, stick it to your shirt."

So he went back. Then they gave him a plow. A plow. He tried, he tried to attach it to his shirt. But no matter what he did, his shirt was torn up by the plow.

His mother said, "Well what's wrong? What's wrong?"

"Well," he says, "I can't attach it to my shirt."

She says, "Imbecile! When some gives you something like that," she says, "you put it in the wagon."

So when he went back, the gypsies gave him a heifer. So he put the heifer in the wagon, and the heifer jumped out on the ground. He put the heifer in the wagon, and the heifer jumped out on the ground.

So he went and he said to his mother, he says, "They gave me a heifer." He says, "I put her in the wagon; she jumps out. And I can't keep her in."

"Well," she says, "when they give you something like that," she says, "you must drive it ahead of you with a little whip," she says, "and then you drive it to the house."

So he went back again. They gave him a big washtub. A big tub. So he was hitting the tub--whipping it to make it walk. The tub couldn't move.

So then he said to his mother, he says, "They gave me a tub. It wouldn't move ahead of me."

"Well," she says, "when they give you something like that," she says, "you have to carry it on your head, put it in the wagon."

So then when he went there, they gave him a sheep. Then he put the sheep on his head. And the sheep kicked him and all that. But he made it to the house.

Then the guy [with the silly wife] was watching. "Well," he says, "with all that," he says, "he never understood what he was supposed to do." So he left. He had his three fools. So he went back and married the girl again.

Notes:
For more information about this and related tales, refer to the book Swapping Stories: Folktales from Louisiana, published by University Press of Mississippi.

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